You gotta love Manong Masahista

I played a lot of ball most of the afternoon. As a result I’m completely bushed and aching all over, but overall I feel great. I outlasted a lot of guys mostly because, I think, I managed to get a good massage a few days ago. At this point you might think I’m about to recommend some ultra posh Thai or exotic place. Would you believe it was courtesy of your everyday typical manong barbershop around the village corner? And all of a pittance: P250.00 at that, with a haircut included.

I was having a haircut at said neighborhood barbershop when he started giving me a vigorous neck rub, a sign anyone who regularly goes to such places knows marks the end of the session. It felt great so I asked if he does massages, he said yes mentioned p200 and off we went. Now I’ve tried all sorts of ultra posh massages at so many places and even expensive home service types already, but this one made me feel like I wanted to knock my head for all that wasted money. Manong twisted, gripped and kneaded my back, arms and legs like so much pliant dough. He used his rough fingers (made smoother by some cheap lotion. Mental note: bring my own next time) to find knotted up veins jammed with toxins and proceeded to attack it with the force of a vise grip over and over until it softened and passed through. To the uninitiated it would have felt like complete torture, but I knew what he was doing. The last time I went through anything like that must have been more than a decade ago, when I was still playing for a team that had a guy like manong masahista slathering myself and my teammates with buckets of what seemed like ben gay, but was 10 times worse – and stung to high heavens, and then used the same tortuous procedure that makes you swear and spit in pain as if you were being knifed.

I tried to bear it as well as i could, trying to focus on the black and white TV blaring Eat Bulaga in the corner. Whenever it started to hurt again, especially when he was doing my knees and lower leg area I even goaded him to try harder even if I was already seeing stars from the intense pain. Of course I consoled myself by knowing that whatever evil stuff that was stuck in my veins was finally letting loose, and as proof, hours and even a day after I was manifesting the result of toxins coming out my body (I wont get into details as this is a family blog. ahem.)

And now, the result. I played what seemed like a full hour of basketball, 3 games end to end and I did not hurt like I normally do. Sure I was slow and definitely not as effective as I’d wanted to be, but at least I lasted while the young un’s were starting to sit down. Obviously this serves as a starting point for better performance later on.

The next step is to have another massage (thank God for it being cheap!) so he can finish off whatever else is left in my veins to finish off. It’s not gonna hurt as much as the first time, and in fact, the ultimate goal is to keep having the same treatment until it doesn’t hurt at all, even if he grips with all his strength. As of last time he wasn’t even trying hard, and I was twisting in pain. But as he keeps kneading it’ll feel better and better until finally no pain at all.

Such is my faith of having a body that produces toxins. I’m gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my life. But it’s ok I guess as long as I got guys like Manong Masahista around.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *