.. and admit to the many many readers of this blog (all two of them), that I am unsure of what to do re the kids I used to coach. As I explained two posts ago (go on, scroll down before you continue reading this), we broke off our relationship on a terrible note. Primarily I was sore at a particular kid for not coming when I was calling out to him, effectively turning his back on me. This made my blood boil. I have had 3 coaches in my life, and I would never, ever ever ever in any situation no matter how bad, turn away from them. I would question them, beg and cajole and get snooty and bratty at them, but NEVER turn my back on them.
But on the other hand, they’re just kids (14 – 17). I neglected to mention that previous to the altercation that started the whole affair, that I was pretty sore at them for not following my instructions. I taught them pick and roll drills over and over, but they couldn’t, they wouldn’t execute. MY GOD I felt so frustrated, and I made sure they heard me when I told them so.
Now days after, I’m starting to doubt if I did the right thing. I try to put myself in their place, and I know they’re probably scared at the sight of me, most likely pretending it doesn’t affect them. But I doubt it. They’re probably shameful, and some might even be blaming themselves.
And this breaks me up.
I CANNOT ALLOW them to get away scott free for turning their back at me. That is just plain unacceptable, and I want them to know that. That there are certain people you do not turn your back on, especially your coach, especially if he was calling out your name. Especially since they were the ones who asked me to coach them.
But at the same time, I don’t want to ruin their summer. I don’t want to make them feel any worry if they continue joining the tournament (I’m not even sure if they still will). I WANT to see them get better. I was working with one of them so he’d learn how to stop and pop. And another one had what it took to be a great ball handler, never looking at the ball, always in control, quick as a fox. He reminded me of Hector Calma, but I was hoping to drill him a little more before I told him that (besides I don’t think he was even born yet when he was playing).
I don’t even want to coach them anymore. I WANT them to know that it’s ok. That adults are people that they can rely on. That if they want me to teach them, I will. That if they need me to teach them I’d be there, because thats what people older than you are supposed to do.
I do not know what to do.