This is the 2nd feature I've added recently, the first one being the Bloggerfeeds section, which shows feeds from 18 and counting Mom Blogs at the moment. Some blog more often than others naturally, but I'm getting good stuff for the most part.

I realize I'm happy working on my sites, and frequently when I go out such as attend events and whatnot, I compare how fun it'd be to working on the sites. Other than the fact that it's great to see something work out, it's great to actually make 'web services' that aim to help people. Jesus Christ I know that sounds corny, but I think about Book Reviews, for example, and I envision a time when a parent would find an interesting review there and buy the book for their kid. Wouldn't that be fun? Wouldn't that be far more helpful than, say, declaring on Facebook or making a blog post about how you want to eradicate illiteracy, but stop short there? Wouldn't that be far more effective and efficient than, say, joining a rally on the streets?

I know in effect I'm patting my own back after writing what I just did, but it really really makes me feel good to do stuff like this. I know for sure that yeah it might not catch on real quick, or that people might use it for whatever other purpose it might serve them (such as self - promotion or whatever), but I figure the benefits outweigh whatever bad stuff it might do. I figure most people would catch on to what I'm trying to do, and get with the program. I certainly hope so.

Well that's it. It's 747pm on a Thu night and tomorrow is another fun day with my wife - to - be where we'll attend an event (!), and hopefully catch a movie.

After which on Sat or next Mon or whenever I can, I'll work on something else. I sooooo love what I do. Now if it were only more profitable.

Cause obviously if there's one thing I haven't got a grip on, along with millions of other people, it's my finances.

Funny how just now, I just heard a voice inside my head saying, 'what finances'?

Work wise I'm firing on all cylinders to get some business going with some big clients. I had some bad luck with a few ones but there's nothing I could've done about that, so I've pretty much closed the door and moved on in my head. Feel much better now frankly.

The title to this post gives away how I feel about other things though. It's been awhile so I've mellowed down some, but I have to admit sometimes I feel hate in my heart, and am taking whatever steps I can to avoid that.

Such a damaging thing - hate. It's like a virus that grows on you, takes over if you let it. I've stopped it, I think, but like the proverbial ebola that it is, it comes back when your guard is down.

Whatever will happen however, is entirely up to ourselves, and nothing anyone wants, says or does is going to matter the least little bit.

Right now I'm on top of my game and I'm getting even better. When I feel like this I feel like slaying dragons, like nothing can stop me.

I'll ride on this a little bit. It feels good so what the heck. Besides it's not like I expected things to be perfect.

Poor naysayers. Congratulate me now. Feel good for me. Cause if you don't, it only means we're not friends.

Anyway, the problem persisted. I ate mostly pork, chicken and fish, I definitely needed to put some greenery in my diet. So I think I found it.

Basically you make a bed of 'hard' veggies, (in this case carrots but sometimes I use potatoes or both):

then you put in your meat or fish, in this case bangus belly, which are surprisingly cheap. One Century Tuna pack costs P99.00 and contains 2 fish which I slice into 8 pieces. I usually eat 1 piece per meal but for above pic I used 2.

Then we put some chopped pechay on top:

and sprinkle juuust a little Olive Oil to keep the leaves from getting burnt.

Then it's off to the oven for 20 mins. Good Lord the smell is so wonderful it'll drive you crazy. I know the wait sounds long but there's always something to do like take a shower or refill water bottles, etc.

Works on chicken too, which I fry on the pan for a little while until golden brown.

The carrots keep the meat from sticking on the sides of the ceramic dish.

Note how well cooked the insides are if you bake it (notice too, the professional method I use to slice it to give you a view of its insides. Expert at work.). Anyway, it's silly how a lot of people settle for eating chicken still with traces of blood in the insides. That's not only gross but surely unhealthy, with possible bacteria inside. Baking thoroughly cooks it without burning it as well as making it oh so buttery soft and just bursting with flavor.

The remaining juices along with the veggies are sublime, and will make you forget your name a few seconds.

And again the nice thing is, you're not all that filled up because most of that is veggies. I kinda learned that the hard way the first weeks I was here and cooked too much, resulting in my gaining weight since I'd eat everything cause I felt guilty throwing it away. But I've learned now and I actually feel great after a meal, I don't feel sleepy or drowsy and after a little rest I'm back to work.

I'm getting to enjoy these meals. Just before I sleep I get all excited about what I'd cook the next day. Yes it's sad.

Current diet however, suggests I need to eat more veggies. And I really really want some. So..

Here's how it went. Ingredients are Eggplant, Squash, Tomatoes, Garlic and Onion, Ampalaya Tops, leftover Adobo and Tinapang Galunggong, which I use to substitute for Bagoong. The Ampalaya leaves were because a single piece of ampalaya is way too many for this one dish.

Re the Binagoong 'substitute' Tinapang Galunggong, let's be honest here. It's probably not so different toxic - wise, from Bagoong. I am sure however, that Bagoong per se would increase purines in my blood resulting in gout within the day for me, so I'm taking my chance with the Tinapa instead. Besides, a single purchase of Bagoong, like the Ampalaya, is too much for just this one dish. At the grocery it comes in bottles, and in the market in a small plastic bag, both still too much for my needs. Galunggong however, I can have for breakfast occasionally.

The iPod is so I can check the instructions from time to time, found here.

So I chopped the squash into even pieces, including the skin. I read somewhere the nutrients are with the skin.

Same with the eggplant.

And put it in some water for ten minutes. This is to remove whatever impurities it still had from whichever farm it came from. Or so I'm led to believe. Better safe than sorry.

If you'll notice I made a mistake here, and put in some tomatoes as well. No biggie, I dealt with that later on. I only had 3 tomatoes for this dish btw, leftovers from some other dish I made a week or so ago.

Above are the ingredients with 1 garlic head minced and 2 large to medium onions minced. On the left is some leftover adobo.

After all that chopping we start a-cookin'. I stir fry the garlic, onions and tomatoes in some of the delicious 'juice' from the adobo for a few minutes.

Meanwhile we start the Bagoong substitute. I take out the bones from the Tinapang Galunggong.

And mince them.

Yum. Imagine that in the morning with some fried rice.

Anyway, I boil a pot of approximately 2 to 3 glasses of water, and pour the Galunggong in it.

I chop the leftover adobo as well.

Then pour it all in the boiling water along with the simmering onions and garlic too.

Recipe called for ten minutes boiling, then add the rest (eggplant and squash). At this point the whole house smells wonderful, and your neighbors' stomachs, if they can smell this, will be churning.

The squash starts out tough and hard almost like potatoes. So how long we'll boil this depends on how long the squash turns into a mushy consistency.

Ten minutes later, mushy consistency accomplished.

I then added the Ampalaya Tops, and boil it a little longer.

Result? Yum!

I'm gonna try to add ginger next time, although I'm not sure how that'd change things. As it is I'm pretty happy getting some veggies in me, as all I had been eating was pork and chicken.

My place looks nicest in the mornings and late afternoons when the sun sets.

Took some of those pics when I was on my way to Ge's place at another village 10 minutes away.

In other news, I'm starting to play ball again but again, my previous gout experience has me feeling like I have a sprained ankle. I should start using my playing shoes now (I just use slippers, which probably aggravates the situation), but everyone else in slippers so..

This place comes alive at around 530pm, when everyone comes home from school / work. Around 450pm I was shooting hoops alone at the park, then 20 minutes later the place was packed with guys from nearby TechnoPark playing ball and a bunch of kids hanging around.

This place is ok, really. Can't say I'm bored since there's tons of work to do. And since the gimmick places are far I get to avoid spending as well - an unexpected treat for my wallet.

Anyway, I wanna buy these two books:

AMERICAN CAESAR: DOUGLAS MACARTHUR, 1880-1964

and Vengeance: The True Story of an Israeli Counter-Terrorist Team

The first one is because I'm interested in larger than life characters and the second because I liked Munich, the movie the book was based on, as well as the fact that I'm very interested in the story of how when Israeli Olympic athletes were killed in the 1972 Olympics, Israel launched a (the recollection reportedly much debated upon) retaliation. If there's a book a movie was based on it's almost always guaranteed to be 10x more interesting, so I'm counting on that to be a winner.

The problem is the first book cost P765.00 and the other somewhere in the P600~P700 region - far too expensive for an impulse, just - browsing - at - a - book - store situation.

So the whole point of post actually, is to just say Why are books so fucking expensive in this country?!. That's it actually. I'll go sleep now.

Today I had to take a meeting with someone at The Fort. Going there was a 20 minute tricycle ride, a 40 minute shuttle ride and another 15 minute cab ride. I left at 1040am and was there around lunch. That's pretty good and comparable to when I lived in Cainta, especially considering the approx. 60+ kilometer distance. The difference of course was virtually zero traffic and we were moving all the time. Under the same conditions the travel time to Cainta would be less than half, but since the idiots who run that place can't get their heads together long enough to fix the traffic that's never the case.

Anyway, here's a pic of some adobo.

You make it by mixing a kilo of pork, half shoulder and half liempo:

With 2 cloves garlic minced and 2 onions chopped in halves, a cup of soy sauce and some leftover celery. I dunno why I put celery, I think I just didn't want it to rot in the fridge. You'd not notice it after it melts into the dish anyway. After 10-15 mins. of boiling on low heat (covered) the house is the literal definition of goddamn wonderful. This'll last me a week more or less.

For breakfast I had this:

Which is bangus baked with butter healthy yellow love sauce and nothing else. I swear to God realizing that bangus is wonderful just the way it is without having to drown it in garlic and vinegar is the one of the Greatest Discoveries I have ever made in my life, ranking 2nd to beautiful females, which of course I do not pay attention to anymore considering I am marrying the love of my life this May.

Ok moving on, here's how to make fried rice.

First you start off with frying an egg, then adding some garlic.

Then you put in some day old rice.

Now you're going to have to stir it all up in high heat. High heat helps break down that rice. However high heat will also burn it, so you need to stir, stir, stir.

And keep stirring.

Until you end up with this. Add some salt to taste.

Now finally I will show you expensive gym prices. I passed by one on my way home. Here's their regular rates.

Here're their promo rates until Jan. 15 I think.

And here are their 'packages'.

The only thing I'm interested at is the 'walk in / per session' thing, but at P250 I'm not too sure anymore. That's steep, man. Although maybe I can go 1x a week only if I'm bored or something, but still, P250 for a workout is still P250.

I noticed however, that P250 on the 'lean time promo' part was edited, from what looks like it started out as P150. I'm not sure but maybe I can figure out a way to finagle a deal or something. We'll see.

You then put it into one of those oven ready deep dishes with some, uhmm, butter 'healthy yellow love grease' ..

Then bake it.

For approximately 20 minutes. I like the wait, there's always something to do anyway like take a shower or wash the dishes or prepare rice and stuff.

I gotta tell you, it's a real winner. No more of that ridiculous stringy over - seasoned, occasionally burnt, still blood in the insides crap we used to be force fed. Nothing but meat falling - off - the - bones, juicy, tasty, wonderful smelling covered with butter 'healthy yellow love grease' you can pour onto your rice and uhmmm uhhmmm YUUUmmm.

After which I end this post with an unrelated pic of one of the street sweepers around here, which I tip every week approximately P30 to sweep all the leaves and occasional trash that finds its way around the house somehow. Ever since I started tipping them (he's just one of them) I started to notice they hang more around here, sweeping in the mornings.

I gotta think of another name for this other than 'Fried / Baked Chicken'. Oh, I know..

Ingredients are the expected: Lots of onions, tomato sauce, ground beef and as they say, "you can never have enough garlic".

Mix together, form balls, heat the tomato sauce with some water and mix..

..mix..

..heat and mix.

Meatball should be nice and firm, not falling apart. If you pack them tight when rolling them up you gotta cook em maybe up to 20 mins to make sure the insides are cooked nice. When you break one apart like below, the insides don't have tomato in them, which makes covering it with tomato sauce yummy.

Cook some rice.

Ok I know above is fried rice, so I cheated a little making this post. This is the same rice I cooked after sitting overnight, fried with egg, soy sauce and salt.

Wish I could post hi res pics because it really looks delish.

Above is le combination fried rice and re - heated Tomato Balls.

You can also do this for merienda. There's a lot of tomato sauce so I heated some up with a few balls.

Then along with some baguette toasted with butter..

Voila! Like I said in my previous post, I make a lot, stuff it in the ref and reheat portions throughout the week. Something like this can last approximately 3 to 4 days, with other types of food in between + eating out of course. Saves me money and most especially saves me time from going to the grocery often which is a real time - sucker.

I'm hungry now.

I finally got to watch My Sassy Girl and it was terrific, or at least the ending was. Quite likely some of the scenes gist' were lost in translation so they came out long and pointless, but it came all together in the end. The Wikipedia page says 'it became a mega blockbluster hit in the entire region from Japan, China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, as well as South East Asia, to the point where it was drawing comparisons to Titanic'. That's very impressive and I finally got to see why. It might not necessarily have the best of any given particular detail, but at the end it leaves you happy and that's more than enough for me.

I cooked a fave of mine, meatballs in tomato sauce, which we had for dinner the other day and lunch today. Jill calls it Tomato Balls. What I like about it is that being tomato based, it lasts for a long time, and you can have it with toasted baguette with butter as well as rice. Living alone really makes me learn to stretch meals as long as I can, and these type of meals, along with Adobo and Menudo, are the answer.

Besides I dislike having to break off work in order to have to cook, so I like cooking things in advance and keeping them in the fridge ready for reheating via my little electric oven.

I need to update BallEx. In fact, by tomorrow the 2nd, I need to really start cracking on the stuff that I've always planned to do with the blogs. So I'll sleep now, it's 11. Goodnight y'all and Happy New Year.

View Larger Map

And here's a few pics of 'The Monster', which is what I've decided to call the long driveway - the better to aspire to beat it I suppose.

Last pic is the University itself. I used my phone cam so they're not all that great. I'll use Laszlo, my Canon Powershot next time.

Pics were taken around 6:30am today. No I cannot run the whole way yet. I think the only thing that's motivating me to even try is knowledge of the fact that I once could (and way much more so) - which if you think about it is a great reason to start kids early into sports and keeping in shape. If you try to get in shape when you're way older it'd be so much harder not knowing you had that ability once.

Anyway today is the 30th, which is like this last big nothing to do day in between Christmas and New Year. I can hear some neighbor's loud stereo and a bunch of kids walking about the streets. Did I say how peaceful and tranquil it is here? Even some neighbors left for their respective provinces, leaving me and neighbor beside me as the only houses occupied.

I think I'll go to Alabang today, to grocery and hook up with The Jill. Later.

Speaking about internet radio, I think it's what I missed most about not having any 'net. There's a station on iTunes that's called Jazzradio.com - Vocal Jazz, ftg. the likes of Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Holiday, etc. and listening to it after I work on stuff in the evenings is surely on my top 3 fave things of all time.

There are two parties going on around my neighborhood right now, one right at the house beside me and another noisier one somewhere farther left. I caught myself wishing the one beside me invited me, but then I settled down to a semi - interesting movie on Star Movies and realized I might probably be having just as much fun watching that. I think the main reason I wanted to get invited was the food. I'm running out on food at home and I wanna eat something I don't have to heat up or cook for a change as well. Besides, food at the wet market at Paseo, the shopping area near here, is expensive. A kilo of liempo is P190 while a large size boneless bangus is P65. If I keep shopping for food there, even if for myself, I'd be broke before rent is due. The alternative however, is a good 30 min. drive away at this really congested place called Balibago, across a bridge at SShway where the bus and FX terminals are, and I don't like going there, so I stick with the expensive wet market at Paseo.

I have icky dishwasher hands now too from washing dishes 2 to 3 times a day. The soap I use don't seem to be strong enough and the food smell sticks to my hands, which have also turned tough from a few mistakes I made cooking where I singed myself.

I've learned to adjust now, and am starting to like it here.

On Christmas Day, the 25th, me and Jill told her parents we plan to get married by May. Her father was emotional, which surprised both of us and probably himself. It was the most touching moment I've ever been a part of in my life, and I'm glad I went through that.

A few days before, we had lunch again with her family at Town Center, where we talked more about who I am and what I do. Previous information I got earlier in the morning made me feel anxious about it, but later on I was more relaxed and the whole exercise made me feel much better and lighter afterwards. I now actually feel like I'm part of a family, something I've never felt for many decades now. I've totally forgotten how that feels like, and it feels wonderful. I think no one should ever be made to feel like they don't have one ever in their lives.

I'm going to try and sleep by 10 tonight, so I'd wake up early enough to try and run / fast walk across an area near here which is perfect for running. I used Jill's cars' odometer to measure it and the whole stretch is exactly 2kms. I'm starting to feel good, and the aftereffects of gout - which this time felt exactly like a sprained ankle, are starting to dissipate.

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow morning. I'm so looking forward to next year.

then again I'm not completely healed yet, and there's also the fact
I've yet to have full dsl yet ( the damn pldt guys installed the cable
and left the landline and dsl modem a full week ago but they don't
work yet. I'm stealing wifi off my consenting neighbor and am writing
this on an iPod). But still. Being alone can be lonely, and the quiet
irks me. it's not that I've gone lunAtic, at least not yet, but the
boredom gets to me, and again I have to remind myself.

after I do of course I'm reminded the alternative. And therefore
realize this is the right thing.

So it really is all up to me to make it easier for myself and stop
whining. Come on foot get better already.

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To publish something is an exciting series of events. The topic
might come first or the motivation, but the idea of putting it all
together to produce something of note can make anyone giddy. As we
progress later on our careers as writers, editors and publishers, we
may extend these actions onto situations that serve other purposes.
The newspapers do it to shape public opinion. Movie writers do it to
get people to go / not go to their showbiz alaga's productions and so
forth. Who's to say that we haven't written an article on KE, MomEx or
BallEx that wasn't to curry some action? It's just the way things
are.

But here on lhl, I write because I wanted to say how NBS Nuvali is
a complete waste of time. That my car Joe probably wasn't worth the
make over I paid good money to get done and I should probably once and
for all sell him, and that I think San Jose is by far the safest place
on planet Earth. Or even the Philippines for that matter. And granted
how cheaply a life can be snuffed and covered over in these islands,
that says a lot.

Still on my last point, I still have yet to completely come to
grips with just how safe it is at this place. Of course having said
that, I might wake up to a missing ref and PC by tomorrow morning, but
jokes aside, it really is amazing. Having come from a near squatter
area, and improved to a 'semi sorta' village in Cainta (which although
had paid security, squatters still milled about), this place is like a
dream. There aren't even any stray dogs about, with dog owners put to
task for taking care of them. No loud parties are aloud past 10pm, and
tricycles can't come in beyond that time as well. You'll have to walk
in if you commute. You, the paying tenant.

Not much else sense to this post if I let it ramble any further.
I'm going to shower then sleep now, while reading Obama's 'The
Audacity of Hope', which from the 15% of which I've read is convincing
me the man is possibly one of the most intelligent men I've ever read,
and no doubt the most qualified for his country's ills. God bless that
guy, I really mean it. If he's as sincere as all that crap he wrote
then by God they've got a true Hero in their hands.

This went on for 2 or 3 days until I could get back on my feet. Acclimatizing while dealing with a terrible cold and fever didn’t help of course, but at least the drugs kept me sleeping for the most part of it.

Jump to the next week, when it turns out the oatmeal that had comprised my breakfast during the time I was sick was near on top of the list of bad things for my gout, so guess what? By the time my fever was starting to subside my foot, in turn, reached a pain level constantly in the 8 to 9 range (where 10 is worst). It felt like glass splinters shooting up and down my leg and to top it off I could barely crawl let alone stand, so I had to make adjustments for doing simple things like crapping and taking a leak.

Once again Jill saved my ass for the 2nd time, taking care of me during the weekend until she had to attend to work. Ezel and Gerald however, were worried about me, and by the time Monday came along Ezel was having Ge text me to tell me if that I was just being shy, to knock it off, as they insisted on having me stay at their place. Maybe it was the Tramadol, but I never really thought I needed help. But I gladly accepted their generous offer anyway, noting the burn marks on my arm from trying to cook food and the unhampered availability of DSL and Cable TV.

I spent one full night and day there and by the time they took me back the next day I felt way better. Merely hobbling mind you, and can’t get very far that way either (it hurts after 20 meters or so), but quite on my way just the same, obviously thankful for a great many things.

I am obviously rich in friends. As I write this, the mere idea astounds me, and I am not a little taken aback.

I’ve taken a completely new opinion on what friendships are altogether. First off, there are people who exist who do not ask anything off me, and yet extend themselves in my favor generously. Obviously that’s not to say that I would offer anything of value, but I do not even have, to my belief, the ability of providing quality companionship, or a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen with. Many times I feel I’m just a grumpy old guy far too self important and engrossed in himself to provide anything of value to the world.

Anyway, its 12:11pm, and I’m the world of opportunity (for a hobbling and scrimping man that is), for the rest of my afternoon. Until proper internet comes (still using my phone), I’m as useless as a gay man in a harem.

I’ve finished with my daily reminders to PLDT to hurry their ass up and connect me, and am considering checking the NBS at Nuvali to see what’s there. I suspect the developers shoulder some of their cost just so as to have a bookstore (and some other fancy shops and places) get set up and situated in the middle of nowhere, and I’m feeling half inquisitive enough today to find out.

I've long decided that I wasn't gonna employ typical techniques to try and increase hits on TechEx other than the occasional Facebook status quoting, so I'm approaching the 'popularizing' of it, if you will, with geeky interest. I stopped writing on it for a month though but I never assumed I'd stop. Now I seem to be gathering steam so let's see where this goes, and with the help of these misguided commenters cum haters maybe the endeavour will speed up a bit.

Ok next topic.

My next topic has to do with the fact that I just turned off the TV after I couldn't handle the mosquito bites downstairs anymore. We're subscribed to the lowest available plan for Cignal TV, a satellite based subscription service, and we get only 25 channels I think. One of them is a channel called Bio, and it featured two people who had to go to through intervention to force them to join clinics to help with their addictions. One was named Gabe and he had a gambling problem, while the other one was a girl whose problem I didn't completely get but apparently had something to do with beauty products because there was some camerawork showing her and her friends and relatives stacking away boxes of them. Would've been a good feature for KE, maybe.

At any rate the Gabe guy was screaming and terribly difficult at his intervention, as one would imagine. The only other time I had 'witnessed' an intervention was on the Sopranos, when everyone decided to confront Michael Imperioli's character, Christopher Moltisanti, with his drug addiction. I frankly thought the Gabe version was far more dramatic due to the fact that the characters were speaking out of synch and occasionally on top of one another just like, you know, the way it happens in real life. The situation was tense and difficult and I could feel it throughout.

The docu skipped several months later after his therapy and showed Gabe a different man, albeit occasionally relapsing but at least aware of what an ass he had been. Unfortunately those relapses and his obvious avoidance of any sense of responsibility for his actions (he obviously still didn't wanna pay off his debt to a friend because he never even mentioned it when they met up again), proves that he is a ways off from complete rehabilitation.

I personally think the reason it failed was because during the intervention itself, his mother agreed to a compromise where they would pay off his debt if he would seek therapy. That's an absolute mistake as obviously it offered him a way out via merely pretending to go along, which is exactly what he did. The only way it'd have worked is if he went on his own accord, and no other reason is good enough. So that was a fail in my opinion.

Final Topic.

I know it's nuts segregating my paragraphs with topic headers like that, but I just need to find a way to separate them, you know? So they won't get mixed up. When I write these things I've a million thoughts going on in my head and getting 'em out whilst maintaining some sense of order requires discipline, hence the topic headers. Looks and probably is stupid, but there you go.

So anyway, Jill is off to Cebu tonight until Sunday, so I'm stuck here with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Fortunately my health has come back a bit, and I think I'm ready to play again.

Cranberry juice and cherries, I think, are the keys to taking care of my gout problems. It's one of the very many solutions to gout as listed for example, here, which has a funny way of talking about gout remedies with it's 'it might work or not' way of writing, which I completely understand because apparently, nothing works reliably all the time and not even what may have worked then is a guarantee it'd work the next time. I'm fairly sure of that now, having suffered more times than I care to share.

So anyway, I hope to spend the time playing ball during the weekend. Heck, I'd probably play right now if someone asked me (it's 1:37am as I write this), for some odd reason I'm all wide awake.

No doubt, I miss the game, and I miss those days just a few years ago when I'd play consecutive games in consecutive days. A few posts ago I wrote how big and strong I was and how I've come to a point nearly the opposite of that. At this moment however, I'm healthy enough to think I can go back there. And why not? Age was never a factor then, shouldn't be now. Health, yes. But not age.

But it won't be as much as I'd miss you, babe. Come back home soon.

Drupal's Mollom, the service which checks for spam, is acting up. I've had one report of people having difficulty making comments while Jen at MomEx had some problems trying to post a new blog entry. I know this is a really minor thing to be talking about whilst there are more pressing issues, one supposes, at hand, but it's just the first thing that got in my head as I wrote this new paragraph. I think it's because I switched my eyes for a sec and saw Jen online on Google Chat, which may have helped me come to that thought.

When I write on this blog, I write mostly the first thing that comes to my head. I like doing that, it's therapeutic to say the least.

Ok so now with the 'pressing issues' part.

Today is a happy day as I had managed to cross out a big chunk of my never ending to-do list. This part involves when we get in touch with bloggers we are trying to invite to a network we are setting up for KE. In the proper order, we created the list (checked it twice - couldn't resist saying that), sent an invite, waited for them to say yes, I sent some code, and am now waiting for word they have installed the code. The code allows me to determine things such as hits and pageviews.

It's a big chunk of work crossed out because now I can focus on finding more members, improving the system, and most importantly, talking with the other end of the network, the clients. And they are waiting. Boy, are they ever so.

I'm excited to see this through. In fact it seems sometimes this is mostly what's been taking up my time and thoughts. That's understandable, to a point, but I gotta step back a bit and just breathe a little, the better to keep objectivity. Otherwise I'll OC this away. I have the tendency to do that.

Today I watched I love you Beth Cooper to try and get my mind off things, and also to buy stuff at the mall. I left approximately around 3/4ths of the way because I just couldn't take it anymore. Not that it was that horrible of a movie, except I realized a 3rd of the way through that it made me miss those 80's teen movies I liked so much, like Ferris Beuller, Fast Times or anyone of the John Cusack ones. The movie failed to make sense several times, and eventually it wasn't doing it for me. I caught myself thinking of other things, which I realized made the movie pointless, since the whole idea was to stop thinking per se and just lose myself in the movie. At that point I got up with my groceries (cranberry juice, blueberry jam, a bottle of cherries and a plastic jug - things that help my gout), and went home.

And now to shift to another topic again. Hold on to your hats, as this come from left field.

Mio is a 5 year old kid dealing with a type of leukemia that can still be cured. I learned about him via Frances Sales' post on her blog re her efforts to raise funds for the boy (whom she had yet to meet, I believe), which then led me to Mio's mom's blog.

Reading this blog, believe me, is heartbreaking. With every word you can feel her anguish over the situation, and it really touches you where it hurts. It then occurred to me, how important it is to have writers archiving situations around us, such as her mom bringing attention to their situation and thus, finding a way to alleviate it.

To put in a different perspective, let's say there's a group of people suffering through, say, a war. Put a writer in there to tell the story of what's going on, and you bring to light issues that need to be addressed. Without one to tell the story though, it's quite likely that group's story will never be heard. Even if they live through the ordeal, no one will ever really be able to appreciate what they've gone through. Not until, at least, another writer comes along to document it for them.

Mio's mom is an excellent writer in this regard. She brings to light her and her son's plight, and with every painful word it brings people to action. How many, therefore, are not served as well by not having someone around to document their ordeals? Mio is a lucky kid for having such a loving and particularly talented mother. Whatever may happen from this, I'm sure some good will come out of her efforts. If you wanna help, she's listed down ways here.

I've always been an optimist and for the most part it's served me well. I suppose however, that the tendency to relax and settle has made me soft, hence my apprehensions. It'd be great to say I shall 'nevertheless forge on' or say something brave like that, but if anything recent events have forced me to accept that many things are outside what I can control but have impact on me anyway.

I suppose these are the situations where religion takes place, when you realize that far too many things are happening in and around you and your options are limited. In other words, these are the tests that make you want to have something to hold on to, something that'd assure you things will be alright when in fact, things can go either way in a second and you'd be left with less than you'd prefer.

But what can I do other than hope for the best? We all work and strive to assure good futures for ourselves, but at the end of the day you're basically playing cards you were dealt, and hoping against hope you'd not be left with a dud. It's the optimist in us that says we'll make the best of what we have, but the fact that occasionally we've just as much chance of doing well as a leaf blowing in the wind needles my brain as well. Maybe I'm allowing negativity to seep in. Maybe I'm being too logical. I don't know. I can't tell the future as much as I don't know what color shirt our neighbor is going to wear tomorrow, or if it'd rain or be hot and sunny after I have lunch.

I wish I could just settle down and be my optimistic self. Maybe there's wisdom to not thinking too much. Maybe the simple minded is God's blessed, because they've no concept of the future other than what they see today, so they tend to go along skipping happily, with nary a thought devoted to things outside the realm of their brain. But thinking that is akin to saying how the deaf is lucky because they don't have to listen to ugly songs. There are just as many pretty ones as ugly, and that one nice song can certainly make up for tens of ugly ones. That certainly makes sense.

I'm rambling. I'm nervous. I want to do good. I need things to work out. I mustn't allow myself to go soft again, if and when this test passes. Yeah, this will pass. The sooner the better.

• Ayuc (my 'as yet unnamed computer, an iBook g4), is horribly underpowered with only 256mb. I've checked around and a Kingston 1gb. pc2100 ddr266 sodimm stick of ram will burn a php4,500+ hole in my wallet, so an upgrade has been shelved at the moment. Sadly, the issue is telling especially when I try to host local copies of my websites for presentation purposes (c/o the excellent MAMP, a terrific utility that lets you do exactly that.

  As a result I spent most of the day today setting up mock versions of KE and BallEx on ayuc. It's not perfect but it'll do.

• The reason I'm setting up the sites on ayuc is to make a presentation tomorrow for a possible sponsor. At the moment I'm not completely ready yet so I might possibly delay the meeting a few days. I seriously don't like doing that, especially since I'm the one who set it up to begin with, but it's better than going in there half - baked. I've always thought that when you have a chance to meet someone who's interested in buying stuff from you, you only have a few precious moments of their time to wow them. So going in there and delivering anything less wastes both yours and theirs' time. I'll get ayuc to cooperate and come in there better prepared.
• Actually I can go ahead and buy that RAM if I wanted to, but recent events have forced me to keep my money with me for as long as possible until I've enough to make a major decision (that obviously involves some money). I know it's useless to hint about it only to leave whoever reads this guessing, but for some odd reason I don't wanna talk about it until things are more concrete. Hence, recent earnings from previous projects, which I'd have thought I'd be spending by now on things like a vacation or a PC upgrade, have remained relatively untouched in the bank.
• Health - wise (and yes, any discussion about me these days will have to involve my health, sadly), I'm doing better. I decided to spend most of Friday asleep and it's done me wonders. It's amazing how we tend to forget how important simple things like getting enough sleep is, or at least I do. And it isn't even a whole lot to begin with, just 2 or maybe 3.5 hours of solid zzz in the afternoon, and I'm raring to get going for a full day afterwards. The day after I got A LOT done, and even had enough energy in store to install a bunch of kitchen stuff my sister asked me to. It took me 4 hours of solid work, drilling and hammering with power tools and a screwdriver, but I got it installed and working. I'll try to get a couple pics soon to show what I'm talking about. They're basically stainless steel things that slide out of cabinets where you put plates in and stuff, I don't know what they're called though which is why I'm kinda vague, sorry.
• The alternative to writing this blog post is to continue reading a book I bought for P50.00 the other day, called Still Wild, Short Fiction of the American West, 1950 to the Present. It's one of those books you take in a piece at a time over a long period, partly because most of those stories are actually kinda sad. One of the stories however, struck me hard especially. By Jack Kerouac, it's called Mexican Girl, and I haven't finished it yet. I first read Kerouac's "On The Road" decades ago and I always envied his style. Yes I use the word 'envied' because for many years, I wanted to be like him. To me, he is the ultimate writer, a man who writes from a special conscience, speaking in an amazing voice I had never heard of. Pressed to think of anyone similar, I don't think of other writers and instead I think of jazz artists, like B.B. King or Wynton Marsalis. His places and his characters jump and move to a special rhythm and you are there, you are completely and utterly there along with him, living and breathing the dusty Western desert he brings you to. His stories are a joy to behold, and I get that wonderful feeling that I'm reading something so utterly special, so wonderful at every turn of each page. Even if he's only talking about bums who get drunk every night, or the lead character making only a dollar fifty picking cotton with no future of consequence in sight, you feel no hurry trying to determine what will happen. Instead you just savor every moment, and what would normally a desperate, uniquely different situation from what and where you are seems strangely familiar, all due to his words and the way he uses them. Words that if you think about it, are just as available to use by either me and you, except he uses them to make wonderful things, whilst we by comparison waste them, if we venture to use them at all. It's the best goddam p50.00 I've spent this year so far. It's been so long since I read On The Road that I only remember the peripherals of that story. It's imperative that I read more of him again.
• After that, what else can I say? I'm sitting here on my desk enjoying the a/c, which I turn on a few hours in the early evening to cool things down before I turn in. It's 9:21 in the evening and soon I'll be on the phone with Jill and getting ready for bed after that. The promise of a not too specific future is in store for me, and it hangs heavy in my mind. It's a premise I partly welcome due to the freedom it will bring, but it partly worries me as well due to its inherent uncertainty. Uncertainty I'm probably over thinking about, and should learn to accept regardless because inside me I know it's the right thing to do.

Right now I'm the personification of a crossroads, standing in the middle, ready to take the next step, but neither happy nor glad about it either. The only thing I know is that I don't like what's behind me, and that liking what's in front is entirely up to me.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

If not, let me spell it out. If you own land, you have power. If you have power, your clan will flourish. Your children will go to the best schools, your employees will be paid well, people become loyal to you, you and your family's future is secured for many generations to come. You will achieve the realization of economic success: long term financial security to weather any storm and any crises that comes your way.

The more intelligent members of this clan are all too aware of this, having grown up in the secure trappings of it. They are treated like royalty from birth, and usually humbled by religious elders as was the fashion at the time. Some lead simple albeit secure lives. Not too simple so as to forego the benefits of it, but certainly moneyed enough to be considered elite. They are the celebrated elite society insists on making famous on the premise of beauty, taste, intelligence or capacity. At the end of the day though, they're famous just because of their vast amounts of money. The more of it and the older it is, the more great they are made out to be.

Certainly they are smart enough to at least realize where their power comes from - their enormous land. From which all is given, with which they have security, the protection of which is beyond importance and without which they lose their privilege.

To me, Cory is such a person, and the existence of the great injustice that is the CARL stands as proof.

I considered the possibility that judging her purely on her failure to implement agrarian reform is too narrow - minded of me. Maybe I should try to remember what else she has done during her Presidency, but even then I am stumped. As far as I can remember, I don't remember anything significant - and I remember well because she was the first President I ever experienced other than Marcos, so I was paying extra attention. The whole nation was.

I remember the frustration at not seeing genuine reform. I remember Gringo Honasan looking comical, staging coup after coup trying to kick her out. I remember thinking he had a point as he along with the public wasn't seeing any change. And I remember most of all the thought that the most satisfactory, the most telling and most significant contribution she can possibly make - the one thing that could put a stop to all the coups and the resulting human rights violations, even the growing rebellion in the provinces, is implementing true agrarian reform, which means yes, even on her family's land.

Today, this remains a pipe dream.

Cory's family still owns vast tracts of area in her home province, and her relatives are just as rich and powerful as they always were, still secure in their mansions and foreign condominiums. Today the Philippines is just as fucked over as it ever was, the people going overseas as a first option for lack of opportunity. Opportunity I can't help but wonder would be available if only the elite would share.

Do I blame this all on Cory? Of course not. Her predecessors weren't exactly top of the line either, but the point I'm getting at is this: I remember her most of all because she had her chance. She was the first after the dictator to actually get a crack at fixing stuff around here, possibly the best chance we could ever have, and she blew it. I don't remember her as the beacon of democracy she is made out to be, because I'm pretty sure that was an unwelcome responsibility thrust on her as she was the only 'safe' choice the opposition could agree on.

I remember her, in her life after the Presidency, as actively participating in events to kick Erap and Gloria out, not as the instigator, but as a high profile opinionator after the fact.

I don't care or pretend to know why this happened. All I know is that I was at Edsa I unlike most of the current generation. I experienced firsthand the excitement and tremendous hope, and I remember thinking this might have been the first 'real' thing I had ever experienced in my life. I also know that during and after her Presidency, all that potential went for naught. We were all left wondering if all that was worth it, if it was all hype, did we just dream it, or maybe we were all fools because nothing had changed.

And I also know those tracts of land I was talking about, all 6,000 hectares, are still intact. Still owned by her family.

I am sorry for her family's loss. They have lost a mother and a friend.

However, I encourage the people, especially the current generation, to see things for what they are and avoid getting carried away by rhetoric. We owe it to ourselves to judge our leaders by how they run government. It is a singular task worthy of careful inspection to the minutest detail, if only to avoid previous mistakes. Only then shall we see results. Otherwise we continue to live in a world of yellow colored glasses and suffer for it.

• I'm using Blogo, a Mac based (naks) blog writing tool that helps make updating blog(s) easier. It works vis xmlrpc.php which both wordpress and drupal has, so it's a great fit for me. Got this via jen and it's the first time I'm trying it, so am hoping it'll work out the box.
• I'm very good with the Mac now, which is a 3 year old iBook G4 running 10.4.11 (yes I know what those things mean now). I've learned all the important shortcut keys and figured out pretty much how to get around quickly without the mouse (I've always disliked mice, esp. trackpads). So two major observations: OneI love the fact running, using and installing things is almost exactly like a Linux distro (albeit a very very good and polished one), and Two the idea that this is 'easy to use and understand' or at least easier than Windows is lost on me. I've encountered and fixed some technical issues in the few weeks I've owned this thing that I'm sure would've made a typical user cry in frustration.

• This is my 4th day stuck at home and sick of gout. Gout is a disease caused by high uric acid where toxins accumulate at the area around your big toe. It bloats and swells and hurts almost, I think, like you stepped on glass shards. Knowing this I was actually tempted to cut it open and let the toxin heavy blood out, and when I read some history about the disease it turns out that was an early cure for it. At any rate I can't say the medicine for it, called colchicine, is any better. It comes in tiny 10mg pills and is enough, if you're not careful, to get you nauseous.
• I can't help feeling resolved, even a little bit, to fix things in my life after what I've just been through. Being sick like that is a difficult pill, so to speak, for me, who's been healthy many years in my life. In fact, good health was one of the things I'd always been able to count on. I was not only healthy, I was big, strong and athletic, with quick reflexes to boot. Even when I gained weight, I always had that confidence I could bounce back and feel strong and healthy again. Sadly, as I lay 2 or 3 days ago writhing in pain on my bed it's obvious I've been far too lackadaisical. I need to get my shit in order and not assume things will just fall in place like I used to. I remember playing up to 5 games a day and partying all night, then waking up the next day fresh as a daisy. Obviously those days are way gone now and I gotta pay more attention. With the lower pain I'm feeling now just walking from one side of the house to the other is an ordeal.

I think I'll write more in the later days. I was distracted by the RP-Korea game that just started a few mins ago, and ayuc's* battery is getting low (ayuc stands for 'as yet unnamed computer).

later!

• I have now started to write for the newest Exchange Tech.Exchange. I will write on that every weekday and optionally on weekends.
• I also have enough PRs of gadgets to upload to Tech.Ex's Gadget Gallery so that I'd not run out for a year if I uploaded one a day.
• I have launched a new feature on MomEx called School Reviews. I imported 1,577 records of NCR DECS accredited schools into it, from which visitors to the site can leave comments and rate from 1 to 10 stars. Here's a sample school, where you can see people comment below, consequently leaving info important for other parents.
• I plan to import the rest of the DECS schools nationwide, probably totalling in the 10,000 onwards, including public schools. By June, I hope people will rely on it as a resource for where to enroll their kids.

Not to mention a plan to upgrade Kikay Exchange, and to launch a new company.

At any rate, this, my blog, will always survive as long as I occasionally think of writing stuff that I can't use in any of the other blogs. As it is though, LHL will be a quiet place for the most part, so subscribe to its feed if you wanna keep up with news re me so that you won't have to visit it so often.

Later folks. Wish me luck on the new ventures.

and here's a full 7 minute compilation.

I'm ambiguous about the whole thing of course, and am more concerned about the fact that my perfectly good and hardly ever used Lite On DVD Writer is now ruined. But still, it made me think. I've been struggling with the idea of moving back to Windows after my 3~4 month Ubuntu experience, but I've finally sat myself down to write the reasons for either direction, and sadly, Windows won out. Could above disaster prove ominous?

I actually made a longish bullet point style article about why and why not, but it's stored on my storage PC at the moment, a transitional server from which I shall retrieve files from after my migration back to Windows, which of course has been delayed.

I hope to get cracking immediately tomorrow morning and get productive immediately. I have so much to do and am almost done with the new site.

I'm almost sad that I have to migrate back, but as I said, the list I made has proven that it is the wiser choice given my situation. Primarily I mentioned my missing Photoshop and a few other editing tools I consider essential. I should try not to hold sentiment on the decision on such things, but as it is, yes, I wish I didn't have to. If it were merely a matter of living with a few quirks then I'd still be using Ubuntu, but in the light of the kind of work I do and the expectations I have from the tools I work with, I really do have to.

and now the 'keep reading'..

.. followed by my review, which goes like this:

It sucks.

Well, some of it anyway. Elizabeth Banks is her usual gorgeous self, but Seth Rogen is given waaaaay too much lines. He's talking up a mile a minute it seems at every scene. In fact, he's probably talking 90% of this movie, and it gets ingratiating after a while.

There's a funny cameo by a very gay Justin Long, and the black guy has his moments, but most of the fun attempts fall flat. It actually became a strain for me to watch it after a 3rd of the way, and I stopped midstream and went to work. Now that NEVER happens to me, so this is a big deal.

Anyway, this post really is an excuse to talk about the excellent soundtrack and post videos about them, so here's a second one from Jesus and Mary Chain.

Oh and as if the fact that I never stop movies midstream (no matter how bad it is) isn't a big deal enough, another sign this movie didn't rock my boat is the fact it has both Katie Morgan and Traci Lords in it, and I still didn't like it.

Great songs though. Really beautiful stuff. Downloading them as I speak.

Good day,
My name is Gabriel H. Mercado.
I am a Filipino businessman residing in the Philippines.

I am writing you in connection with a domain that has apparently been registered with your service: http://kikayexchange.com.

I am contesting ownership of this domain for the ff. reasons:

• I own a website called http://kikay.exchange.ph, along with several other websites residing in subdomains of the main domain: exchange.ph (please check other sites at my signature below).
• Kikay.exchange.ph has been in existence since August 2006. Our first post is linked here.
• Kikay.exchange.ph, due to its unique url, is often mistakenly referred to as 'kikayexchange dot com'.

Further to this, I believe that the owner of kikayexchange.com deliberately purchased the domain to earn advertising revenue from people who are mistakenly lead to it. Here are my reasons:

• Kikay.exchange.ph is a blog that discusses fashion, shopping, beauty and health tips and similar topics. It is meant for a female audience. It regularly receives 700+ hits per day.
• Kikayexchange.com is a static page containing advertising content that is similarly targeted towards the same audience (pls. see attached).

I hope to bring your attention to this situation. Thank you.
Sincerely, Gabriel H. Mercado

Let's see how this goes.

• Foremost, is the incredible Facebook API, and it's recent decision to allow 3rd party developers to create apps that can change things like notes, links, videos and the all - important status updates. For what use is a social networking app, or anything on the 'net if you think about it, if you cannot make broad hints at how available you are to your crush via Facebook? For what else is the internet for??

• Above Facebook opinion is in light of other general web induced thoughts, such as my frustration in my ability to wrangle Drupal to output data the way I want it. Currently, I want several fields to products a single output, ie. Apple (4), Oranges (3), Banana (1), Cherry (0), to result in a straight line that looks like this: Fruits: Four Apples, Three Oranges, One banana.. Yes this is strictly a programming thing, so anyone looking for touchy feely, deep insights into the human soul sort of stuff can avert your eyes towards other things. At any rate I have already left queries on the Drupal forums. I will receive any hints towards resolution of my queries with glee.
• I was a first time ninong at Tessa's wedding last Friday morning! A just - as - surprised Char and I were at the QC Hall of Justice to witness the important event, and it was just as advertised: Solemn, Efficient, and Over Before You Knew It. The judge seemed to be having a whale of a time. After he made sure everything and everyone knew what they were doing, he reveled in Alby's and Tessa's pictures and just joked with everyone all the way. I have nothing but the best of hopes for the happy couple. Tessa I know you read this so Good Luck and Congratulations to you two again. Soon as Jill is back let's all hang. Alby's a lucky guy :)
• At this point, you probably shouldn't read this Tessa: Anyway, I finally got the Sony Memory Stick needed to make the Sony TG-1 Video Camera I was lent for review to work. I got it last Tuesday only to realize it was completely useless without a memory stick, one of a number of faux paxs the PR people kept making consistently. I don't even wanna get into that, I just wanna start reviewing the thing. I obviously missed the perfect opportunity (the wedding), so that very sucks. I have an idea for a video though, but it will require some execution. Let's see if I can manage to scrounge up the time.
• Tomorrow is a full day at client, albeit I might ditch the afternoon issues to visit the BIR to resolve a long standing situation. I'm quite frustrated about my situation with that office and do not look forward to this assignment. All future income however is contingent upon the resolution of this issue and hence nothing but my full attention is required. Fact is, the faster I resolve this issue, the better. The faster I resolve this issue, the better. The faster I resolve this issue, the better. Rinse. Repeat.
• Tuesday is an opportunity to watch the Confessions of a Shopaholic premiere, courtesy of receipt of a couple of tickets due to Kikay Exchange. I've always looked forward to KE receiving movie premieres and thus I'm quite excited about it. I remember watching Sex and the City and Devil Wears Prada and wishing we were invited to their premieres. It was obviously such a perfect fit and something we'd do anyway. The fact were getting them now is just another sign that hard work pays off. So long as you keep your focus, things turn for you at the end.
• I played ball today and literally, the guys I am playing with are half my age. The funny thing is, one of them started to call me 'manong', and in recognition of that fact, I blocked his shot. I dunno if it was a conscious effort to make him 'pay' for that, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did. Thing is, I remember how we went to Ilocos years ago, and everyone there calls everyone else 'manong', almost like you'd call someone 'mister'. Over in the Tagalog region from where I am though, there's an 'old dude' feeling to it, which is why I did not really warm up to it. Sadly, I didn't finish the game, after getting a bum stomach (too much coffee). But I do wanna come back next week, and am looking forward to a visit to the gym on Tue and / or Thu to prepare for it. I know I'm probably too old to want to play as much as I have been (2x a week or more for the last 2 weeks), but as long as I can (barely) keep up, I don't see why I shouldn't. I still love the game, it still gives me thrills, and I can still feel the texture of the ball on the tips of my fingers after I righteously slapped that ball from the dude's shot earlier. It felt GReeeaAAAt. I want more please. And as long as they let me, why not?
• Ok back to the websites (yes, groan), I want to update MomEx to the latest Drupal, not a mean feat. There are also new features I want to implement on KE for two reasons: 1. More user - generated content. 2. More regular content other than the blogposts. I won't get into details again (because I'm selfish and I don't want anyone else to beat me to it), but I think I've got a bead on how to do it in Wordpress. I think I'm gonna stick with Wordpress as far as KE is concerned, if only because it seems to have improved greatly these past few months after what I thought was a rather long period of stagnation last year. It gives me something nice to compare Drupal against, and while the two are still different as night and day, each has its strengths that I'm trying to get the other to reach towards. Wordpress however is damn easy as pie to customize, and I miss that with Drupal. Drupal however is unbelievable flexible, packed with potential and is only limited by your imagination, so I'm still sticking with that in as far as making content outside of blogposts is concerned. Maybe I'll move BallEx to it soon, pending receipt of data I need (sadly) to ask permission for. But if not, I'll keep it there for the time being.

Ok that's my life at the moment in bullet points. I know my many loving fans (all 2 of you) are waiting for my typical mushyness at the end of these things, so here it is: Yes I am in longing, but No I try not to think about it, primarily by keeping busy (and yes, by playing basketball when I should probably be taking better care of myself). Cute fact: Jill's dog Killer, when looking for her, apparently goes up to their room and checks the top of her bed for any signs, leaving depondently afterwards. Aww.

End time: 1137pm.

I am without a doubt focused on this 100%, to the point wherein I feel I have reached the point where I possibly hinge its success upon that of my own, as a person, that is. A risky, and foolhardy proposition, considering that it is merely, at the end of the day, a website.

Regardless, I like to think of myself as competent in no small way in the making, planning and creation of such things, and therefore am placing a great deal of weight upon its success. To my mind I am convinced I have a winner. There is no hindrance to the top of the heap. No blockage, no a speck of dust, obstructing it from its goals. As long as I perform all the tasks I ask of me, all I envision of it will come true. It all depends on me.

That is the reason of course, why it is taking me so long. That, and, the carrying out of the complex plans I have drawn up for it. It has come to the point wherein I sleep with a PHP reference book in my hands. A coding book. Not one of literature, not of adventure or love or mystery or other fancies of fiction. A coding book, in order for me to get it right.

For if it were only the mere act of putting it up for the world to see, I would have finished by now. But no, I need it to be as near perfect as can be. There is always something that needs fine tuning, always something I need to tweak and twist and turn every which way to point it the right direction.

Finish though, I must, for there must be closure after all this preparation. Onwards, I continue, tomorrow.