It's good that in our society, there are still things difficult to achieve - I read a book a few months ago about Indiana State's high school basketball program, the very one that produced the miracle team Milan, depicted in the film Hoosiers in 1954 (ok I know this sounds like I'm digressing into basketball talk but hear me out). Back in those days, Indiana high schools regardless of size compete in a single tournament for a single championship, making their win even more dramatic considering they only had a population of 165. This changed in the 90s when, due to overzealous parents (accdg to the book) who wanted their kids to taste a championship at least once in their lives, divided the tournament, resulting in different 'championships' throughout the state. Obviously this watered it down and consequently (possibly without their realizing it), negating the glory that came with it.

When I look at the bar (and herewith my point), I'm glad it's as difficult as it is, because for any society it's important to have goals or achievements that remain, so to speak, the gold standard of achievements. I honestly believe the majority of Pinoy's psyche allows if not wholeheartedly approves of the idea of receiving rewards without going through the pain, so it's refreshing to see people working hard and actually receiving their just reward. More often than not we tend to coddle friends and family, relying on padrino systems and contacts to achieve these things. It makes my blood boil to hear the words 'I know this person.., or I know that person.., indicating that because youre familiar with someone, you can get things done, as opposed to achieving goals via their merits. Not only does it award the non - deserving, it devalues the efforts of the deserving, and finally, tragically, condones getting something the easy way.

So bravo, to Jill. Bravo to her batchmates and everyone who passed. Savor that feeling of getting something because you earned it, and not because you begged, pulled strings, or used any other method than having to study 8 hours a day 7 days a week for a whole year to get it, which was what it necessitated. To me, that by itself serves a lesson and I hope they take it to heart, which brings us to:

An Opinion Article at Inquirer.net which I could not find after 20 mins of searching - Inquirer.net's Search function is COMPLETELY USELESS. Anyway, that opinion, which was probably written by Chief Justice Panganiban or Amando Doronilla sometime during the weekend (sorry, like I said, Inquirer's search isn't worth crap), mentioned the importance of morals and values in lieu of merely carrying out the wishes of your clients. It stated the most obvious example today - Gloria's use of lawyers to craft monstrosities like EO 464, the Calibrated Preemptive Response, and the law (I dunno if it has a name) that allows detention of media without due process - all brilliant works of genius legal minds worthy of mention in law circles for all of legal history if it weren't for the fact it's used for a purpose outside of what the law is supposed to do, which is essentially for the common good.

All professions whether medical, legal or even if you just make goddam websites, require a level of social responsibility that should precede your need to please your wallet. After you've managed to make enough to support yourself and your family, you're gonna have to reflect on how what you do is affecting your surroundings and the people around you. Whoever wrote those laws has clearly lost track of that. It's one thing to awash yourself in legal geekery and revel in the victory of finding a loophole in the law allowing you to get away with incarceration sans proper procedure, it's another thing entirely to see a person and his family suffer the emotional and physical drain of losing their freedom. How can you live with yourself knowing you created the law that allows the government to abuse its people? If you're smart enough to write it, you've got to be smart enough to know that Gloria, just by virtue of asking you to make it, will use it for her own nefarious ends.

In my field, I must know 10 to 15 guys that could make a comfortable living making porn sites or hacking accounts. Just like lawyers or doctors or anyone who works in their field long enough, in the course of your work you'll see loopholes, shortcuts and corners you can cut that can give you a boost, or a step up above the rest. We know this fully well and there's no question of their ability to get away with it, and yes some do. But for the most part, honesty and integrity kicks in, in the form of feeling sick when you look at yourself in the mirror. Common sense dictates those smart enough to do so should also be smart enough to see the folly of their ways. You must be living in a very warped world to think you're doing anyone a favor when you create something like that.

Yes, it's finally over. - Jill stayed at a dorm in Katipunan to study for a number of weeks last year, and I count those as some of the happiest in my life. I'd visit her and we'd hie off to a restaurant or Starbucks. I'd work on the sites using my laptop or read a book while she studied for hours. It was good quiet time and felt truly content with the universe and all that was around me. But would I wanna go through it again?

I look at back at that time and I'm glad to put it on shelves in my brain and mark them as 'good memories', because they truly were. But that's the only way I wanna look at them now, as something we've gone through and is now over. I think that's what constitutes most of the relief and anxiety I felt while I was pressing F5 *every second to get the results at the SC website last Saturday. We spent a whole year preparing for that thing and I couldn't wait to see if it paid off. Consequently, I realize now that if we hadn't put in as much effort, I probably wouldn't have been as nervous because I'd have less expectations. This as opposed to putting in the work, which means you value it a lot and hence value the results as well.

Anyway, whatever. It's all done now, and at some point we'll all be putting it in the back of our minds as another happy memory, and writing this (on a work day of all times), means I'm in the process of 'shelving it' so we can get a move on. Essentially, I'm glad she took the risk, because there is always big gain to get from big risks. The bigger the gain the bigger the risk, and we have a few more to work on, some in the very near future. All we have to do now is stay the course, get our ducks in a row and apply the same level of hard work and attention to detail exerted in previous examples. So long as we focus things have no choice but to get better.

Told you you had nothing to worry about.

Jill's household usually buys into whatever Sky offers during Pacquiao fights to watch it live, but I'm still suffering from heat fatigue I got last Friday when I stupidly took a walk under direct sunlight for almost an hour, making me sick. I had two events that day and by the second one that evening my muscles were cramping and I felt like collapsing. Anyway I've decided to rest in for the weekend, and maybe get some work in too.

So anyway here's what I think: Pacquiao's gonna win. Which round? I dunno. What do I base this on? Just the way he looks. I know it sounds corny, but he does look like he's got the 'eye of the tiger', whatever that is. Win or lose, he's really become more impressive than I originally sized him up to be, mainly because inspite of the fact that he has already achieved far more than our wildest dreams would've thought anyone could, he's still at it, training like his whole survival is at stake.

THAT, is the mark of a true hero, in my book. Training like you're the underdog, even if you're already a winner. So as far as I'm concerned, he can go and buy as many Cayennes and sign as many endorsements and even try TV hosting and *gasp* sing as much as he likes. It's his time and money anyway. As far as respect goes, he already has mine.

And that's not all I'm forecasting. Here are others:

Politicians will ruin his win by clambering on top of the ring as if they had anything to do with it. - Do I need to explain that? These people are leeches to the core, and if there's one thing I'd wish Pacquiao would do is to avoid them allowing himself to be used by them. He can certainly do that, I think. He's 'bigger' and has far more influence than FG, his cohort Congressmen and fellow crooks or all of them combined.

Commercials will ruin the experience for millions of Filipinos who can't afford the P900 peso tickets (for the movie theatres) and cable. - Of course, there really isn't much you can do here. The TV stations need to make money too, and there's no avoiding the nauseating commercials that effectively make you do the exact opposite, which is to swear you'll never buy Skecher's, Alaxan, or any of those other brands ever again in your whole life. The movie theatres are a good idea too, although I wouldn't go to the ones near areas where people can get rowdy. For some reason it reminds me those stories about FPJ movies, and how his diehard fans in wild and woolly Mindanao would pull out guns and start shooting at the Pacquito Diaz (the staple bad guy) whenever he'd appear on screen. I wonder if that'd still happen if they showed the fight in places like Zamboanga or Basilan?

The answer, really, is the Internet. I'm sure there's a stream out there. Better start trying again. If there is one, I'll find it. Grr.

Jun Lozada imho, is either naive or in denial. He clearly doesn't see that in politics, he has no friends. As he declares how much of a fan he is of Joker Arroyo, the surprise in his voice at Joker's anger was hard to mask. Lozada is a babe in the woods, and to his credit he admits as much. He is completely clueless to the fact that at this point, he shouldn't trust anyone, because in politics it is every man for himself, each one looking out for number one. So if he really truly believes that Mike Defensor, Sec. Atienza, or anyone else amongst his proferred friends would not sell their souls to see him shut up, he's sure to be crying even more in the days to come.

My heart really does go out to him. Lozada has yet to show any signs of inconsistency, not even reaction or behaviour that'd make me doubt him. Of course, that alone isn't enough to prove he's without guilt. But if you were to judge guilt or innocence based on raw emotion and reactions alone, then he is as innocent as he says he is.

I watched the whole hearing today, and that's the only thing I can surmise from the whole affair. Well, other than the fact that the PNP - AVG are a collection of idiots, equal only in sheer stupidity and boneheadedness to our Airport Security.

Oh, and the Senators who had proven themselves to be the best speakers are still the same, namely Roxas, Escudero, Villar and unfortunately, Enrile. Jinggoy actually gave a good accounting of himself, aided probably by the fact that he really prepared for this one. Meanwhile Gordon, who's usually much better, was a picture of the opposite, asking questions he clearly should've known the answers to if he had just at least read the papers today. Jamby Madrigal was as obtuse, biased and ill-conceived as ever, asking questions about ZTE when they should be focusing on the kidnapping issue. Revilla's intellect, if you can call it that, belongs to the level of the PNP-AVG, while Loren could've and should've done better. Joker meanwhile couldn't put two sentences together, stammering, stumbling and constantly losing sight of his point. Maybe that's what happens when you sell out.

As for Lozada, every time he cries, I just want to say, 'Jun, why do you still believe you have friends?'. Inasmuch as he's a grown man, he seems yet to learn that the world is ten times cruel to people who like to say the truth. Today I witnessed a man in a snake pit, but instead of a Gladiator fending off evil dressed in fancy armor, we have a man who's eyes pop out their sockets, shocked at every untruth he hears. I don't care really. I'd rather have an honest man than a macho one.

So much for my previous post, re Keeping Focus. One thing's for sure, the Senate hearings is the most riveting show on Earth.

How would you feel? After seeing your comrades die in battle because the military lacks the funds to provide for them and after constantly risking your own life fully knowing you may be next, I'd probably riddle the tv with bullets right there.

But let's not even talk about the Marines. How about the OFWs? The government heralds these as heroes, but let's face it. They're victims. Victims of a government that is so corrupt it has forsaken the country it's supposed to work for, and so therefore these decide look for employment overseas instead. Calling them heroes is assuming that these people prefer to go abroad. That's bullshit. Why in the world would you wanna leave your family? Why would you want to have your children raised parentless or your relatives never knowing who you are? Given a choice, of course you'd want to stay home.

How about the ordinary salary worker? The typical man on the street?

Yes I want change, yes I want to see someone take up the cudgels and call on the other icons that can stand as magnets to all those abused by the government. And yes, when I see it gaining ground, I wanna join too. I have lost my patience with our leadership and whatever else may come next it has come to a point where any alternative is better than this.

So the spirit is there, the support is there, and the anticipation for something, or someone to come up and do it is there as well.

The only problem is, the only thing we have is Trillanes.

Upon whose mere mention of the name a collective groan arises.

Of course it can be argued: the man's heart and soul may be in the right place. He may have had the right intentions, or.. well, I can't really think of anything else he has in the right.

By all accounts, this man has proven himself to be an idiot. He goes off ranting, raving and waving the flag of righteousness, but with no apparent plan, no follow - through that would ensure even moderate success.

Last night's exercise was a joke. And what's more, it gave the government a chance to prove it could quash such things, and how easy it did so. After last night all we have is a broken down hotel lobby (and a very nice one at that), loads of footage of journalists screaming for their rights, and ... that's it. Meanwhile the government is patting itself in the back for a job well done, and people are just as confused as ever, momentarily amused / entertained after which they go about filling up their VISA or immigrant applications to Canada, US, Australia, Japan, or anywhere else the fuck would accept us because Goddam it, even a ranking soldier and PMAer can't rally enough brainpower to hold a coup that'd last longer than a few hours. Even the tv channels which had everyone glued to the sets for a few moments were back to regular programming by the evening, showing the usual teledramas.

The guy did more damage than good. Whoever else is going to mount the next one - and make no mistake, the government should never think that there won't be a next one for as long as they're handing out cash bundles, I sincerely hope we get someone smarter.

As of right now these are the names of eleven people whose lives were inexplicably taken from them by some maniac who decided to blow up Glorietta the other day. I read these names and I wonder who they are, what they could have probably done to deserve their fate, and what level of lunacy there is to have influenced the nameless forces that had seen it fit to do such a thing.

And since we have no answer to any of these, the only thing we can do is to pray for them, and hope that one day whoever it is to have caused such grief will be held responsible, so as to bring even a flicker of meaning to all this craziness. It is only right.

In other news, US Marines promise no more rape during war games in Luzon.

Oh how thoughtful! That's very nice of them! Very nice indeed.

I loved the Senate hearings. You don't need to use words like 'true to life' when describing it, because it's real live drama and comedy right there and then. Finally a way to figure out these people via realtime impression! Anyway, I thought I'd list down some impressions before I forget them, considering we may or may not be seeing any more of these for a while depending on further events.

Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano - As head of the panel on the NBN deal, I thought he was fairly up to task inasmuch as most of the Senators were eager to line up to ask their questions. Truth is, I was never really impressed at the guy. He'd occasionally make some slam bang accusation against the administration, guaranteeing an audience when he makes some speech or presentation, only to result in pffft, nothing. It has a lot to do with his lack of speaking (and maybe even writing) ability, in particular, focusing on what he's trying to say. This is a basic, I think, most politicians need to master - which after developing that, a sense of drama would then be next. I have heard and watched a lot of his speeches and so called 'exposes', all of which leave me aching to tweak his speech. I'd understand what he's trying to say, and imagine how best he should say it, but instead he says something that's completely off-base, misses the point entirely, or most of the time forks onto another topic or topics. It's a pain to hear him talk. Sometimes I think he just has too many things he wants to say at the same time.

Sen. Mar Roxas - I was actually planning to mention Mr. Palengke later on, but I'm adding him directly under Alan Cayetano to serve as a contrast to Cayetano's inability to express himself. If A. Cayetano cannot bring two different thoughts on a single paragraph together, Roxas on the other hand is the master of it. When he started on CHED (formerly NEDA) chair Neri, Roxas knew exactly what he was doing, with one question leading to another and to another and onto, finally, his point. It's obvious he thought it out as if knowing what the answers would be before he asks them, leading me to wonder if he was a lawyer (I couldn't find out if he is on his website). He displayed the thought organization needed to make a point via direct questions, and then brought on the drama big and powerful as he reached the end. Unfortunately he starts screaming when he gets near his point, but I could see it as a headline maker anyway. And even then it was ok, because sure enough he finally got the clear reply - the two or three clear statement from Neri that made you second guess his sincerity - and you feel like applauding. Sure enough, Roxas gets the headline the next day. When the papers need an image or the TV needs a two second headline video, it's Mar Roxas we'll see, pounding (and screaming) away as he makes his point. As such there's no question we're going to see more of this guy in this country's future. He obviously knows how to work a performance and I'm glad, in this case at least, he was on the side of the truth.

Sen. Jamby Madrigal - Sen. Madrigal is a joke. I suppose any group has to have at least one person to be on the receiving end of a few laughs, and the lady brings it by the bucketful. Which is relatively ok if it weren't for the fact that she plods on blissfully unaware that the joke's on her, which then of course makes it become very sad. You sort of watch her like you'd watch a slow train wreck, with one hand on your face as if shielding yourself from the disaster happening before your very eyes, and the other hand resisting the urge to change the channel because, face it, you're fascinated. I'm sure her heart is into what she is doing. It's just that you don't know what it is she's doing (nor does she looks like she knows either).

Sen. JP Enrile - Sen. Enrile is the old cunning master and I am in awe at his ability, when he was questioning Joey de Venecia, to almost get his goat. With chin up, eyebrows perpetually raised and a slow taunting voice he might as well have everyone declare de Venecia a liar just on the strength of his performance. Sure enough de Venecia became defensive, which is exactly where JPE wants him to be. He plays this to the fullest, but you know he can only go so far. In the end, personal attacks are petty and shallow and whilst entertaining, prove very little. It was a good performance anyhow, and of course I can't help but wonder how vicious JPE can be if he really had a good argument to support him.

Sen. Joker Arroyo - Somehow it makes you think, when Sen. Arroyo asked if the ZTE deal could merely be cancelled outright instead, that the man was looking for a compromise between the truth - seekers and the administration, whom he has inexplicably allied himself with. Sen. Arroyo would have been my idol if it weren't for that sad fact. God knows what it is that makes men change their minds, and it is only God I fear who'd know what made Joker Arroyo align himself with lies. As such I feel he would always find himself to be the person trying to find compromises between the two factions like he was at that hearing. I wonder if he consoles himself with that role, because that surely can't be enough to please the man I thought he was.

I'll continue with Part II at a later date.